The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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