Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
