is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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