I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
