i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
