I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
