ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
