At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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