i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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