just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Randomize
