I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize