i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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