Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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