Whod you bang
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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