i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
