Soap is not a condiment
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
