jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
