Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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