Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
