I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
