With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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