Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
