and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
