I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Duck Duck Cougar?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
where are my eyebrows?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
