Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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