That's intense
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
