he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
