it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
