oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
