If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
