True but thats because hes a fetus.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
