What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize