Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
