so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize