I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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