My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize