I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
