She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
