I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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