whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
