After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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