That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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