Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
