He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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