girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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