Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
