i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize