Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
