All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
one two three fourrrrnication!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
