Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
