Joe is yelling at the trees again.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
