She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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