Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
