Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
being pregnant is like rehab
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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