Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
