He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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