They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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