the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
