I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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