dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
