well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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