okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
