i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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