fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So much Jack, so little girl.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
