I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
