I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize
