508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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