i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
